I can say with full confidence that I have never truly experienced the love of Christ until now. I thought I knew what his presence felt like, but I did not. I thought the people who I hung around were the best examples of Christ for me, but in reality they weren't. Frankly, they were not what I needed. I looked for the acceptance of others, hoping to find my place in this world. All I wanted to do was to please people so they would like me, the only problem was I tried to make my relationships by myself. I found myself getting hurt by the people I thought loved me over and over again. That way of life only satisfied me for a short amount of time before I realized my soul longed for more. I needed something that only God could provide for me, and that was love. Instead of searching for this love and acceptance by myself, I finally decided to turn to God for help because my relationships at that point were empty and falling apart. I prayed that God would place ONE person in my life that would accept me, for just me. Someone that would love me and would not judge my past or my future. Waiting, I believe, was the hardest part about that time. I have always envied other people's relationships, and I did even more at this point in my life.
Well, guess what?! We, as Christians, always underestimate God's power, and so did I. Instead of just one person, He has placed several people in my life that mean a lot to me. They have ALL shown me what the love of Christ is supposed to look like and it is amazing! To finally say you have people who love you and you trust is still beyond me.
One lady that God has placed in my life will forever have a special place in my heart. Her smile and hugs are sometimes the only thing that gets me through the week. She is precious and so dear to me, and I love her more than she will ever know. God, I believe, was saving the best for last and I am so grateful for her. She is like another mother to me. I know for a while I felt hopeless and that no one cared. I felt lonely, but God was preparing this women in particular just for me. At that time, I did not know that there that I deserved better than I what I had and that there could be other people that would mean so much more to me than what I had. Sometimes we have to let go so God can reveal something even better.
"I waited patiently for The Lord, he turned to me an heard my cry." Psalm 40:1
